2023 Running Note


On my phone I keep a note for the year, a place to stash ideas and inspirations, words that I like, things to look up for later. I built a shortcut that allows me to jot things down and automatically add them to the note, with an empty line separating it.

I don't pretend to remember all of what these words mean, but they meant something to me at the time, enough to write them down.

This is 2023.

##2023 Bin

i should be working on my thesis right now. 

laser-cut felt wreath. Will require a core. 

what urges are passed down 
digital molting 

electronic candle that flickers more when you blow on it 

“I don’t really like it but everyone else does, so i guess let’s do it” 

adulation: "servile or insincere praise" -> This is usually said to be from ad "to" (see ad-) + a stem meaning "tail," from a PIE *ul- "the tail" (source also of Sanskrit valah "tail-hair," and Lithuanian valai "horse's tail"). The original notion would be "to wag the tail" like a fawning dog (compare Greek sainein "to wag the tail," also "to flatter;" also see wheedle).

wit: to know, "mental capacity", 

bibliomancy 
wikipedimancy 
rhapsodomancy 
wandermancy 

the food my downstairs neighbors make smells like GOD 
i come home and it’s just 
Oh god do i want whatever is cooking up on that stovetop 

https://twitter.com/OrrKislev/status/1623024377469014039

A glimmer of a notion of a nothing of a whisper of a figment of an idea. - Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow 

The way to turn an ex-lover into a friend is to never stop loving them, to know that when one phase of a relationship ends it can transform into something else. It is to acknowledge that love is both a constant and a variable at the same time.

192.168.50.129 

sandwich adafruit n00ds in between acrylic 
cut slots 

FIELD NOTES - SF MOMA WITH CONVERSATION PIECES AND THE VISITORS 
- furniture all in one. lots of love.  
- chair made of clay, coated in a protective plastic layer 
- un-fragile hanging piece 
- furniture meant for and not meant for the home. Meant to challenge. 
- lights! oh gosh the lights. not task lights, but beautiful ones. 
- a flocked rock that i wanted to touch desperately 
- chairs that question the nature of their materials 

A Review of The Visitors
Literally just an incredible show. Created of a single hour take, multiple rooms of a house are recorded and each musician gets one. The directional sound and intimate shooting make it feel like you are a part of a precious, fleeting moment even as you know it will run again as soon as it’s over. You whip your head left and right at the different rooms, trying to catch glimpses of everything happening at once 
I feel the splash of the bathtub, the throb of the bass. I smell the smoke of the cigars, the sticky sweet champagne, the musty sheets. I feel the air cool as they leave, walking barefoot into the grass. 

“extremely approximately” 
a year lasts approximately forever 

useless machine: comfort dongle 

“a light snack” light 

in our own words 

the preciousness of material, the ability to be in-precious about it 
to be an artist, the art cannot be precious
it needs to be like water 
something you pour and drink and consume and wash away 

boredom as the key to novelty 

sometimes we frustrate ourselves on purpose 
as if the everyday challenge wasn’t enough 
challenges are an escape 
if they’re surmountable 

butt bombed into oblivion 
is a great band name 


if i could stop time for a second 
i’d take the extra moment 
in bed 

Nothing is ever “from scratch” 
you did not build the wood you carve from 
the sun 
the dirt 
have done so much before you. 

I don’t want to be scared anymore 

today is made for me to do what i can, and take care of myself 
there are some things to do, to take care of, like laundry and cooking and grabbing coffee. and there are other, larger things to tackle, like designing and planning a large fabrication project, like figuring out what to do with the words. 
there’s plenty to do but also it’s not the end of the world. You can take your time. Do it right. Let yourself think. 

I feel like there should be alt text poetry 

gaze upon my flesh and perish 

https://craftsmanave.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw8e-gBhD0ARIsAJiDsaVejqWDGJJfE4fq0oNatjDyazGbLzFXaqp_DP41Jh3TmIAgfWjUnqUaAq7_EALw_wcB

receipt paper + lighter 
the lighter moves to write something 
but your challenge is to keep it a certain distance from the lighter 
otherwise it burns 

there’s not much left to the light 

if I lean a little to the left 
and squint 
there’s some time left 

may the transit gods be ever in your favor 

I want to create a shortcut they will automatically add any text or right to the end of this note 

have you ever noticed that altars and vanities have the same shape 

the joy is from the fact that it's personal 
so make it personal 
personal but open 

What is the precious part of the thesis? How do you hone in on those precious parts? 

Why do we want radical honesty in social media? Partially to allow for groundedness in our feeds, but also because to some extent we desire it to be known that everything about ourselves, even iur random thoughts, are cool. 

if we can have a language model imitate sound but not produce meaning  (ie parrot complexly, but not actually "know" what it's doing) 
this is like the dogs with the buttons 

i should backlight my thesis, and add smaller lights to the edges of the altar to spotlight receipts in the dark 

What are the world's smallest pilgrimages?
- to the store
- to the dining table
- to the fridge
- to your bed 
define pilgrimage. define small. 
hello adnan 

have you ever just felt a bus gun it? 
like the driver found an opportunity to be on time and today, just this once, decided that the thrill and the rush were worth it. somehow my phone is at 40% battery and i've just started the day. somehow i see an open window that i want to climb through. somehow i'm stuck in traffic again with a bus driver that won't budge an inch, which is probably for the best considering how many people are on this bus with no seatbelts or other safety equipment. if we crashed, my face would smash directly into this metal handrail, and then perhaps i would suddenly and unpleasantly have no teeth to speak of. if we crashed, the other car would probably have bigger problems. if we crashed, would the city of new york pay for my medical bills? my tuition? 
i don't think i got enough sleep last night. 

today everything is listing to the left
can't catch my breath 
compensating but always off kilter

two nerds and a bag of dirt 

being acknowledged and ignored all at once 

personal micro joys and micro sorrows 

highlighter as portal to a state of mind, captured in your scribing 

books as portals not to other worlds but to the state of mind of the author 

studio is a place for your work to live, breathe, for all the bits of brain to get showcased 
what's an online studio 
what's a distanced studio 
what's a remote studio 

perfect day in smells and patterns 
green and orange, dappled sunlight, citrus, candle smoke, fresh bread, canvas, herringbone, sawdust and cloves

after 11pm: things that just need to be DONE, tasks that have a clear goal, things that can be completed 
Before 11pm: things that require CONCEPT and THINKING and anything CREATIVE. 

i don't go to chinatown enough. it's an amazing place. 

lab play play lab altar everyday altar is pretty good tbh 
softcore is also good 

care for but with all the italics. care for or care FOR or CARE for or CARE FOR

heel HOOK heel hook lmao 

classifieds but just ME and me 
how do you take the joke farther? 

literally 100 days of art ideas. make it a game, make it overwhelming. 

magazine as iterator …? 

folder laptop sleeve 

https://twitter.com/presentcorrect/status/1646065361492533251?s=46&t=glz43TkC8N1Z6Fpjr3T9wg

a website that shows you the ghost of your past visits 

decisions are making decisions 
that's what ai is 

untitled 
(Please God, Shut The Fuck Up, It Is Too Hot And I Cannot Think Over The Sound Of Your Racket) 

favorite tips and tricks for amateur fusion 360 and digital fabrication 
use the sheet metal feature for creating flat files in order to laser cut precise designs 

letters to feel the wind with

define labyrinth 
labyrinthine 

i think i'm exhausted. deeply exhausted. i think my bones want to lay down. 

time capsule talks 

https://youtube.com/shorts/eJ6DSskJ9ik?feature=share

leave no statues of me when i die 
no plaques nor plates 
no gravestones 
i do not wish to leave any trace
no object for them to plaster 
with markings of their own desire 

human adjacent 

promposal
will you go to prom with me 
flowers and stuff 

love and the possibility of french fries 

the speed of distruction vs speed of growth 
yesterday there was a building there 

bias as a material 
data as a material 
bias is like wood grain 

he's building a bookshelf out of balsa 

We move on so quickly from things. What about a culture of sitting in it, resting in a moment, drawing out the time? 

if you squint 
blur your eyes a little 
they don't look like bars at all 

let me be done 
learn to be still 
learn to rest 

learn to be at rest 

enrichment!!!! artist dates = enrichment in my enclosure 

life vs lift vs like 

The clouds are heavy today with laden rains, whispering to you to go home

There's a storm cloud passing over the city, covering each block

the intersection of fuck all and i'm dying 

journal that as you turn the pages adds layers of sound 
qihan jiang -> playing WITH the journal 
each page adds a meaning, a layer, a time 
how would you layer a synth physically? 
can you a building physical block????? 

i smell of smoke 
and unwashed cotton 
and humidity 

what is the path of least anxiety

to everyone who stopped to speak 
to write 
to share 
you have shaped me, helped me know myself 
thank you for being part of me 

what are your grounding mechanisms for when you spiral? 

why does your brain get stuck in a rut? what characterizes the ruts? what gets stuck? 
remembering that it can get good again doesn't help you feel better now

list of future challenges 
30 days of illustrator 
of outside 
of espressos 

my thesis is (about trauma | about family | an exploration | stressing me out | unfinished | scary | finished ) 

violent illumination 

modes of access, chorded key access 

the moments high leverage 
the lasts of things, the ones almost over, the nights to just go 

what if i leave this place and lose my artistry? what happens then? how do you hold onto what feels important? 

what does it mean to write something over and over until the word is meaningless? 

we build so many beautiful things that can only be seen through a screen 
i want to build those things in the world so  we can experience them unmoderated by pixels 

that beacon of light in the distance? that's just a mcdonald's 

30 days of 
computational poetry 
found object assemblage 
junk journaling 
nighttime photography 
photo editing 
overwriting 
sound samples

science for sciences sake isn’t enough 

how depressing it is to know someone 
and love them 
and for them to suck the hope out of you 

the gift of my everyday practice to the choice to take the time to notice the little quirks of life 
to play for just a minute 

why doesn't cow juice settle? 

how do you build your own time 

is higher education just a cult? 

"i cried today" tote for julia 

épi-pen holster made of leather

how many moments have you forgotten to write about? forgotten to capture on camera? to live in the moment is ideal but even the best ones can use a token to trigger their re-emergence. you can gather tokens like a slot machine, like a gum-ball dispenser, listen to them clink into a pile, sift through them with your fingertips. 

what's a moth rave 

### Early Warning Signs of my Impending Doom 
an autobiography (or for now, just a list)
1. the unassailable desire to make, do, or generally be productive at all times 
2. new website creation at 2am 
3. the recurring thought, "just one more thing" 
4. using sound as brain-filler 
5. a lack of a consumption of tea 

Church of the _______

what is the micro biome of your internet presence? 

it's funny that public storage isn't public
you pay for the privilege of storage 

housing as right, but also home as right. the right to home. 

data redaction in real life - sharpieing out the data you redact from the internet 

button wall

if a tree is sheltered it will never grow tall 
it will stay, quietly underdeveloped, with tender branches
waiting unknowingly for the moment its protectors fall 

is this entire practice just subtweeting 

press my buttons, i'm a switch "switchboard" 

i'm a survivor of ldds
at least we'll be pretty when we die 

email as iterator 

great terrible band names 
- my friend james 
- greenhouse for the dead 
- espresso solstice 
- mothra rave 
- church of the Anthropocene
- the privilege of piracy

my brain is essentially a singular process, no multiplex 

who is the beloved? the held close? 
i would like to devour a book. i would like to be devoured by a book. what's more poetic, to devour or be devoured by? 
how to avoid distracting yourself from the discomfort of being alone with your thoughts 

harvesting bugs (jessica stringham) 

how old are your trees? 

things that feel unreal: 
- i leave in less than two weeks 
- my journey with this program is over 
- i feel good. 

practice researching what interest you 
practice rabbit holes 
practice experiments with no goal 
practice trying something dumb 
practice googling things 
practice writing down silly thoughts 
practice being confused 

things that are comforting: 
- the number of people on a subway platform at 12:41am 

what side quests do you sssign yourself in life? what's a side quest? what's a main quest? 

phil-in-a-can can do it 

crochet plant rope

Diasporic stupidity is looking for an eastern witchcraft, and forgetting about all of the spirituality that exists like feng shui

instrument versus toy 
tool versus toy 

it's the little knowledge 
like knowing to hit the button twice to catch the elevator 

fonts being the filters of the text world 
paying for your medium to have a mood 

Is the vision of the future leisure or purpose? How can both be true?

If clouds were Yimirs brains and thoughts, the sky is clouded with thought today 

How many people have ever been photographed? Intentionally or unintentionally just appeared in a photo.

fitting an entire persons story in the margins of a page
representing marginalization 
footnote story 

i'm a new yorker baby 
all i do is complain about things and be better than you 

I've worked with words for 161 days now and you know what I don't actually think I'm any fucking better at it, I think I've made 161 things and yeah that might be some kind of achievement but like come in it would be nice to see some sort of measurable improvement for once 

this is candle not holder 
and what is it inside? it's a mess

anna and toucha from slash gallery 

if AI is the new industrial revolution, then the only legislation that i truly think needs to exist is the limitation on creating people or false personas. the disintegration of truth through the use of false personas has been proven time and time again to be distasteful to humanity as a whole despite the type of industry 

One day, god willing, I'll have a journal for almost all the years i've been living as an adult. 40, 50, a book for every year. I think that in of itself will be a sight to behold. 

and if you don't have your own ancestors to call on, storebought is fine 

dopaminecore 

summary, notable, questioning 

there are so often the things that annoy you only in the transitions 
and so when you finish the transition, you forget it until next time 
the fact that the back of the toilet is dusty 
the moth in the hallway light 

street markings illusions 

white man enters foreign country and incredibly quickly becomes better at the thing the locals have been doing for years 

also white woman is inexplicably the ruler

the people will complain about the crime 
about the government 
that the judges don't do their job 
and they will also find their ways of skipping jury duty 

leave me room to be right for once 

toui shan (mom’s family hometown in china) -> hong kong 

mix and match style and content 
cooking video coding content 

what if it works? 

lasts and firsts 
transitionary trials 

a birdie falls from the sky in a ray of light 

how will voice assistants shape language? 

the elderly woman on the bus speaks no english 
except for the echoes of "i'm sorry" s she drags her bags of cans down the aisle 
bags now echoed in the sandy liang collab with baggu 
paid and woven 

i want people to love me before they ask me to dance. I want to know they are interested in me as a human and not just a dance partner. I miss the naievety of feeling like dancing with everyone was perfection, was fun, was exhilarating, even when i didn't know their name 

speaking of 

can you make a masking tape dispenser + stamper? 

all the way at the back on the way down 
i'm the kid on the way up 

today today today
Today the escalator is stopped, and I must do the moving
Today there is a circle of chalk inscribed up on the ground 
today it is too warm to wear a jacket
today

today i get one of the old trains (the windows are yellow) 

my bart train peeks above the ground for almost exactly 20 second 

in fantasy, you can always be willing. fantasy is perfect. 

lost landscapes, the pelenger library 

What is the reason is Joy?

My shorter commute has a 22nd window, where the train enters the open air, just long enough to clinch the sky. My longer commute stays above ground, the whole time, meanders their houses the way you might expect a secret passageway to take you to a new world between the Ivy.

intentionally blank beanie

failure is not an option, it's a necessity 

left intentionally blank t shirt 

take yourself seriously 

private internets 
journals as index of self and time
how do you curate your web 

arduino breadboard meets charcuterie board 

playing pygmalion 

maybe part of what the manic is is the feeling of confused hunger 

Today I made my coffee with no spare time to drink it. 
Today my mask fits tight across my face.
Today my feet ache across the heel. 

a website of todays, via text 

subtle tech 
minor tech 
analog tech 

the altar doesn't need to be smart
just seamless
it already has so much impact

focus on easing pain
the projection

zines for us 
for little ideas 
and travels 
and moments in time 

what are you tending to? what pathways are being fed? 

the sweetest thing a friend did for me is make me boring daal 

SPAM PROJECT 
digital spam 
spam mailer (like an envelope) 
digital render of spam, spam musubi 
spam can used as spam blocker 
spam can used to yell at you 
spam meat bow tie 
spam meat letterhead 

watching someone walk around with a vape and an ipad 
like the digital versions of a book and a cigarette 

the j meanders through the hills of noe valley like a romantic, carving to and fro, pressing close into the ivy. 

joyful things today 
- blue angels flying overhead 
- conversation with a stranger 
- a lost butterfly 
- people talking to their dogs like they are humans 

today there is a man in an aquamarine dart swinger who has not succeeded in passing the train in its route up the peninsula 

today the buzzing in the speaker is not in fact static but instead a bee, trapped behind perforated mesh 

i should make mobiles lol 
what if your mobile could harness the power of its movement to draw 
or record 
or shine 

Recording a journal at a location on a map

glancingly curated

zine ideas 
- what to do when you're lonely 
- what to do after a breakup 
- the colors of feelings 
- poem that wraps around and closes itself 
- poem that changes when you unfold it 

30 days of documentation 
30 days of video 
30 days of design drawings 
30 days of drawings 

the fog is climbing over the hill like an encroaching forgetfulness 
but i’m stuck in a dirty train and the windows ruin the picture 

what does "uh" look like in different languages 
in sign language 
in body language

package your merch in pill bottles 

One day people won't understand resolutions, because we will have moved passed pixel based screens and rendering into things that are vector only. 

we grow to the lengths we are allowed before we are snapped at the edges by passing trains 

I'm really sad 
Why? 
Why not 

a truth of the web is that the text on it only lives so long as someone is rendering it

"where do I live today?" map of the body 

what if a story needed an audience to be received 

i would sooner 
i would rather 
for your information 
just in case 

there's a grain in my eye that covers everything in rainbows 

when will it stop feeling like i'm running 

poet engineer poengineer 

a clock that slows down every time you glance at it 

i have a sudden desire to make ascii art 

we will never build better than the earth itself 


betty, in the back, is just a jerk. 

this here is my safety stick 

camera that prints a receipt of the image 
of your experience? 

casting led noodles into resin 

led noodles with 3v battery? 

careful has lost its meaning 
has become caution, fear, dread,
when can we return to its core 
care full, full of care, for others and yourself 

your screen addiction is showing 

ldds direct to garment printing 

lenticular prints for poems changing

how much effort would it be to spray paint every tool I own with the same orange 

I had read enough child psychology to know that this was normal enough, that a parent, at this phase, is in essence sacrificial, that she must, in order to inspire the child's long-term confidence, survive her own destruction. A parent, I had even heard, is merely a fixed spot on the wall that the child can look to, should she need to regain her balance. I knew this all in the abstract, of course, but in practice, I was not a dot on the wall, an immutable shape on the horizon, and I found that the destruction merely had the desired effect of destroying me.
~ Sarah Freeman

Their relationship had been frayed already, I had comforted myself, a tooth so loose it needed just the lightest of tugs. Elle settled in the corner of the room at a little table set up just for her. Maude stood and moved toward her, kissed her on the head. I had done the tugging, sure. Had held the bloodied tooth in my palm.
~ Sarah Freeman

"Very lucky," I said, feeling my face redden.
I had dozens of questions, but none of them came to mind; instead I half-listened, not knowing what to do with the time: it would be over too soon. I did not want to go without saying some-thing, something of importance, and then it was time for a snack, Maude told Elle, and when a single thought did come to me, you can have him back, I was already outside, remembering now that I had forgotten the bag containing the scarf, which I had laid next to me on the couch, and then it was gone, the thought, the pur-pose, the scarf, in the muddle of our encounter, and now the front door was shut, a blue, endlessly dark blue door, much darker than my daughter's room where I pulled the curtains shut, even though it was only four in the afternoon, and even then, it was still not dark enough in the room, so I lay under the weight of her floral duvet, the one we had chosen together, and I wept, oh what a fight there had been about this duvet, a battle at every turn. She wanted this one, but in a different color. Your eyes will be closed, you won't have to look at it anyway, and she had cried and told me I knew nothing about duvet colors, nothing about her.
~ Sarah Freeman

magic 8 ball that's only response is "you're overthinking it" 

tactical mint dispenser

penperipheral 

something to think about a lot is how access to tools makes us feel more capable. with the right tools you can carve your own spoons. with the right tools you can build your home from the ground up.  The Internet came along. Suddenly we were all writers, we were all publishers, we were all bloggers. When TikTok came along, suddenly, we were all video makers, and we wanted to be what about all the other tools, the ones that are digital. 

the library of first tries 

embroidery on a linkedin sweatshirt 
that just says 
"i've never gotten a job from" right before the linkedin logo 

canvas behind moulded satin acrylic 

lenticular over photography 

can i cnc cut transparencies 

shirt that says snack

Google Translate re-writes my name as Zhang Liya. 
Zhang instead of Chang. 
Liya instead of Leia. 
It makes sense, because in English, the spelling of Leia implies a “lei”, a “lay”-like sound. And the 立 is “lee”. 
I’m looking at the other version of my name. Who I could be called. 

compulsive documentarian 

fischer price observatory 
fischer price mechanical arm 
fischer price esoteric mechanics 

a 15-second stop 
above ground on the train 
luxuriating in light and slowness 

into to poetics and computation 

the arbitrary time boundary of the end of the year and all its pressures to finish things, post them, send them out

what else hits "cut" at the end of a time frame 
creates a seam to mark your life by
hire so you softly archive yourself

what is one sunset worth 

General Tidy, Squadron 2 

marginalia 

Posted/updated 2023-12-31

Tagged: content , blog , braindump , yearnote

pre-fermenting: ingredients have been mixed, roughly stirred by hand, water and flour and the magic in the air, this will become something new and the change is rapid but we just have to wait to see when it'll be ready

* also found frequently in sunlight, on the pier, in the middle of it all, at a cafe table